Back with Pretty, Funny, Happy, Real

It has been many months since I've contributed to {PHFR} but there is no tragic reason for my absence, save a dead camera battery that I tucked into my tote bag for close keeping, planning on remembering and repurchasing. Which I promptly forgot about every single time I headed out to run errands. Which my exasperated husband finally retrieved one morning and came home with its replacement the very same day. Which I'm reaping the benefits of this very afternoon. I submit:

{Pretty}

This late in February, the sun can peek through the highest branches and actually shine into our yard!

{Happy}

A girl and her peanut butter cup, it's a beautiful thing!



{Funny}

John's geography book held her interest for quite a while (enough  for me to make  cornbread anyway).



{Real}

Yes, that's my son. On a horse. About to gallop out and rope a cow.  (Hail  Mary, full of grace...)



See Our Mother's Daughters for more {PHFR} and maybe make a new friend!
Love,
Allison

Happy Birthday, Addie!

"You're picking me up in a sec, right?"

"I'm not smiling at you; Luke is sticking his tongue out behind you!"

"Heh; got a surprise in my diaper."



"Another fake smile; are we done yet?"

"I am serious, now; pick me up."

 

 

Every time I've attempted in the past few days to put some thoughts together for this baby's birthday, all I can do is hug her tighter (I still hold her a lot!) and stare out the window. My throat and heart feel tight and I fight tears with smiles and thanks to God for the gift of this child. But words aren't coming easily, so rather than blather, here are pictures of her on February 14, 2013 and pertinent links.

Here is the birth post.

Here she is at six months.

Here is something I wrote for Catholic Sistas this Valentine's Day that mentions her birthday.


Big squeezy Valentine hugs,
Allison

Roe vs. Wade Anniversary: Pro-Life in Suffering

Our pro-life angle is the suffering angle. The angle of parents faced with a prenatal diagnosis and the quality of life question. As Catholics, we believe that the proper end of marriage is to welcome the children that marriage creates. For six pregnancies now, after our firstborn was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, we've been viewed askance for having our babies instead of aborting them. Why would you bring a child into the world only to suffer and die? Here are some of my answers:

*Every single person is born to a life of joys and sufferings. And then death. There have been a few examples of saintly folks who did not technically die, but don't plan on that.

*Life is difficult and messy and complicated.

*I don't have all the answers and guarantees, but I do know that killing children in the womb is not the answer.

*If my child dies, it will not be by my hand.

*Everyone suffers, not only those with health problems. Here I would like to add a bit about another one of my children. One with a defiant streak that would curl your toenails. And a touch of laziness.  And who will not work on school lessons. Tough life. No CF. I believe I may beg God for help more for that one than my CFer...

*People today have demands: COMFORT. ENTITLEMENTS. PAINLESS. GUARANTEES. PERFECTION. A little one that requires extra work or forces social embarrassment or causes constricted hearts will not do.

*Mother Teresa's famous words : "It is a poverty to decide that a child may die so that you may live as you wish."

*Our Catholic belief of redemptive suffering does not wipe away the pain and tears, but it does soften the sharp edges and allow glimmers of goodness. From the Catechism :

"Moved by so much suffering, Christ not only allows Himself to be touched by the sick, but He makes their miseries His own : "He took our infirmities and bore our diseases." (Isaiah 53:4). But He did not heal all the sick. His healings were signs of the coming of the Kingdom of God. . .By His passion and death on the cross, Christ has given a new meaning to suffering. It was henceforth to configure us to Him and unite us with His redemptive Passion." (Section 1505)

"But even the most intense prayers do not always obtain the healing of an illness. Thus St. Paul must learn from the Lord that "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9) and that "in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of His body, that is, the Church." (Colossians 1:24). (Section 1508)


"His compassion toward all who suffer goes so far that He identifies Himself with them : "I was sick and you visited me." (Matthew 25:36). His preferential love for the sick has not ceased through the centuries." (Section 1503)


So what would I say to a lady who has received a scary prenatal diagnosis? Choose life. Visit Be Not Afraid and Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for beauty and dignity and love and to share your tears, for we are greater than the sum of our parts ~

"We are a soul ; we have a body." ~ C.S. Lewis
"Luminous beings we are, not just this crude matter." ~ Return of the Jedi book


What a blessing and a gift it is for Ken and me to be able to point our suffering children to these words of truth. And ourselves.


So many lives lost. How can I help? How can I love?

For more anniversary posts, see Jill Stanek.
Warmly,
Allison

I Nurse

If it's played just right, a Stay At Home Nursing Mother can confidently and humorously answer the age-old polite/uncomfortable question, So what do you do? with complete truthfulness.

Here's how it works (My answers in red.):


So what do you do?

Nurse.

Oh, a  nurse (Pay no attention to that extra article.). What's your specialty?

Newborn to toddler.

Where do you work?

Anyplace I'm needed; I'm always on call.

Like home health?

Yes.

Hospitals as well?

Done it there.

Public?

Yup, there too.

Must be exhausting.

It is (Make sure to smile here.).

You must really love it to be so flexible and dedicated.

I do (Smile bigger.).

Well, it's nice to know there are people like you around.

Thank you for your kind words.


At this point, you could 'fess up and enjoy the shock or walk away while raising a glass of Guinness to yourself (good for breastfeeding, right?), knowing that the almighty grapevine will do its work and get the story correct eventually.

Happy Weekend,
Allison

P.S. I have a new shake recipe that Rees loves, since he's tired of chocolate milk shakes (How can this be my child?).  Tropical Shake ~

Blend 1C canned coconut milk, 1C orange juice, and 1C frozen mixed tropical fruit.  Nice change, and coconut milk is full of wonderfulness.

Baby Bronch

"I'd like to get in there and see what's going on," the doctor stated with a tap of his pen. 

Sounds simple enough, but "there" is Addie's lungs and "getting in" requires general anesthesia, a winding catheter, and a miniature light and camera.  Bronchoscopy.  On my ten-month old little girl.  Chest Xrays and labwork return normal results, but he hears inconsistent breath sounds between her lungs and she coughs a bit.  I gritted my teeth, met his gaze, and calmly answered, "All right."

Of course, it's not all right, but I  have neither the time nor the propensity for a meltdown as I picture her limp, monitored, invaded body.  I've been here before with another (not quite so) small child, and it's got to be done.  My feeding, pulmonary percussions, cleaning, and medicating have not been enough.  Enter our wise pulmonologist who, though gruff, is deeply vested in my children's health and desires information that simpler diagnostic tests will not yield.  So in he'll go.

And I'll set my jaw, march through the doors, and hand my baby over to be "bronched" because I love her and because the doctor wants to peer through this window to her lungs to better care for her.

God help us.
God help him.
God thank you for amazing technology.
God thank you for my sweet, bright girl.
And dear Saint Therese, you with your lung problems down here, know.  Please pray with me for Adah Marie.

6 AM Friday morning, here we come,
Allison

Slacker Catholic Family Advent

Someday, our Advent will be magical and holy and angelic.  For the forseeable future, I'm resigned to a houseful of fun and wild with a long wait for the 25th.  Oh well.

As far as decorations, we never can be spiritual and wait to put up/decorate/light the tree, so we do it as soon as possible, then call the children's agony of waiting a whole month for there to be actual presents under the thing, holy awaiting.


Yes, it's tipped.  And fake.  But it's UP.


 

Our other decorations are cheap and easy and transform the whole house: I waltz about, flinging rectangles of red calico and gingham on every horizontal surface, as well as behind glass.  I also wrap pictures and paintings to look like presents.  I do not sew, so the edges are cut with pinking shears (sorry, Mom) ~

 

This is a print of some chickadees and birch trees in real life.  And a thrift store, lysol-ed throw pillow.

This is an East coast beach painting in real life.

Mary Engelbreit card in real life. Towel, $1 at Target.

Sorry about the potty picture, but not even the bathroom is safe.

Tea cupboard with wrapping paper taped inside the glass because I don't have enough cloth.

 

These old Santa prints are thrift store treasures (See the missing bottom edging on the one on the right?) for a couple of dollars, as are the knick-knacks on the mantle.  I did purchase that wise men hinged nativity new a few weeks ago (Wal-mart.  $17.).

 

 

 

 

 

Our Advent devotions are so lame, I hesitate to write this down, but the hope of  uniting with another slacker friend spurs me on.  I only read this book for morning prayers and do not even have a Jesse tree for the meaningful ornaments.


We do pray the Saint Andrew's prayer five times each morning.  I have a kid type it out, make copies, then cut and glue onto construction paper.  We're fancy like that.

 

I never remember about the shoes or coins, chocolate or real, for Saint Nicholas' feast day on the 6th, but we watch this ~

 

 

 

 

And we eat Mexican food for Juan Diego on the 9th and Our Lady of Guadalupe
 on the 12th, so we're good there.


The Advent wreaths some of the kids made earlier in the month fell apart but one gets lit at church so that lets me off the hook.  It does.


Now, the worst and most wonderful thing we do (depends upon if one is a Howell child or adult) is to attend Mass Christmas morning before opening presents.  Yes we do.  We make them wait.  Barreling down the stairs, all morning-breathed and bathroom-needing-but-refusing-to-go is a sorry display and it's all over in half an hour.  So for the past seven years, now that we're Catholic and there's such a thing as a Holy Day of Obligation, we're all over that.  Stockings they dump out first thing, as they find some sort of breakfast in a foil wrapper and juice box.  Then it's back upstairs for decent dressing and washing up; church; and home again.  The mood is much better and it truly, tangibly puts Jesus first (whether they like it or not). 

Why do we give each other gifts when it's Jesus' birthday?  Because it makes Him happy when we love and give to others.



Happy Birthday, Jesus!

It's almost here!
Love,
Allison

CF Round Up: Prayers, Food, and PFTs

 

1.) The Saint Andrew prayer, during Advent, is very special to me; Rees' health is always one of my specific intentions.  But this year, I grew up a little more and have changed it to a cure for CF (Thank you, CF friends who live inside my computer!).  My other intentions are for Ken's job situation and my patience situation.


2.) Lots of reading on essential oils for managing CF.  Some seem magical.  I'm reminding myself that if something could kill pseudomonas without damaging delicate pulmonary tissue, our doctor would know about it.  But I like the word manage instead of miracle (well no, I love the word miracle...) and managing is how I'm using them: Breathe blend and tea tree oil for Rees; On Guard blend for Addie and everybody else.  Oh, and Whisper blend for me. If anything, we smell wonderful! They can be purchased here.  (Warning: it's very hard to choose!)

3.) Addie's weight for height ratio is less than 50%, so per the doctor's orders, I'm giving her something solid twice a day (Actually, he told me three or four times a day but the sassy little thing is not complying.).  Greek yogurt mixed with banana, sweet potato, or avocado is a hit; oatmeal and ice cream are not.  She still nurses 6-8 times in a 24 hour period and her lungs continue to be clear.



I bought an amber necklace, too.  Don't know if it works, but it's a lovely decoration!

 

 

 



4.) Rees' checkup yielded 20% declined PFT, so he's on ciprofloxacin for 10 days.  If there's no improvement, then a 2 week tune-up at Providence Hospital.  He'd been dancing around being sick for a few weeks (little extra cough, little extra congestion) but felt fine and thought he'd done great on the PFT.  Oh well.  Can't fool around; he begins college classes January 9!

 

 

5.) And, OUR CLINIC HAS BEEN ACCEPTED FOR PARTICIPATION IN THE VERTEX STUDY!  This, my friends, is magical stuff, as it corrects the basic defect in CF (a folded protein that messes up the chloride channel within the cells).  We, like everyone else, hope for the drug and not placebo.  God's will be done.


Time for more Christmas shopping; our lessons have been reduced to mathematics and reading stories . . .

Happy Advent!
Warmly,
Allison