Thursday, March 3, 2011

No Chariot Yet

Rees has had an increased cough the past few days and I've had to nag remind him to breathe in his flutter valve more often, to drink more water, and to run his dog instead of walk him.  These are the times when CF weighs a little heavier (And there are crushing times, too, but that's for another post.) and when I'm not all "que sera, sera" about life, death, suffering, joy, and spirituality.  Because it's not just a cough ; it's a reminder of the constant battle raging in his lungs among viruses, bacteria, mucus, white blood cells, and medications.  Our doctor and medical books soberly tell us that one day the bugs will win and I know it is true.  But.  But.  That time has not yet arrived and we plan to remind and push and encourage him to do what CFers have to do to keep healthy.  That's right ~ healthy.   No need to lie around, waiting for that sweet chariot to swing low.  Take care of yourself, dear, because there's a special birthday party on Saturday, you're altar serving on Sunday, we're hiking next weekend, and you've got a black belt test to prepare for!  It's different, now that he is older and so much more in charge of his health.  I miss the little boy and am proud of the young man.

Sometimes we "catch" flare-ups before a hospitalization becomes necessary ; sometimes we don't.  When he's angry, hopeless, and disappointed over missing things due to his health, my heart hurts so much, I weep.   I swear, too.  I think all parents do.  I think all parents plan, push, encourage, aid, hold, ache, and love so much it hurts.  Weep and swear, too.

I am optimistic that our home ministrations will thwart the course of this infection  (If not, I'll be posting from Providence Hospital, our other home!).  But as I look at my clock, it's time ; where's that boy to nag?


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